Confused Feelings
by Prairie Flower
Summary: This story is about Almanzo's feelings during the episode "Silent Promises" in Season 6.


Confused Feelings

Almanzo sat at the table, staring at the potatoes on his plate. He had shifted them around so many times that they were already cold. Next to him was Sarah, a beautiful woman at his age. He had invited her for supper last week and now they were spending the evening together at Nellie's restaurant. Sarah was talking a lot. She told him about her relatives in California and probably about some other things, but Almanzo was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice what happened around him.

"Mannie?" Sarah's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Something wrong with your food? You haven't eaten a bite."

"Oh, " Almanzo tried to find an explanation. "No... It's just... I'm a bit tired." He knew that Sarah wasn't convinced of his excuse. He could it see from her face, but he didn't know what else to say.

While Almanzo was eating his cold potatoes, Sarah tried more than once to start another conversation, but it seemed to be hopeless. He wasn't in the mood for talking, and so they both finished their supper in silence. Almanzo felt a kind of relief as he finally could pay the bill.

When they left the restaurant, it was already dark. A warm wind was blowing softly through Almanzo's hair. He looked into the sky and could see the sparkling stars. The weather was perfect for a walk, but he couldn't stand this situation any longer. Without saying a word he helped Sarah into the buggy, and after jumping in quickly, he started heading towards her home. He was glad it was only a short ride. When they arrived at Sarah's place, Almanzo knew he had to explain his strange behavior.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," he started. "It's just... You know, I've worked a lot during the last time. I'm not feeling very well. Next time will be better. I promise."

"There won't be a next time," Sarah answered in a harsh tone. "I'm also sorry... That I've wasted my time with you."

"Sarah," Almanzo tried to find words to calm her down.

"No," she yelled angrily at him. "This was the second time we went out together. The first time I thought you're probably a bit shy and it would get better with time, but today was much worse. I've realized that you're not interested in me. It's over."

Almanzo looked to the ground. He felt ashamed. He knew she had told him exactly the truth. "I'm sorry," he nearly whispered, but all he could hear was a slamming door.

On the way home Almanzo tried to clear his mind. As he passed the creek, he could see some light in the darkness. He knew this was the Ingalls' place and suddenly he started thinking about Laura again. He had met her in town this evening and since that moment he couldn't stop wondering at that chain with a ring she had worn today. She had told him that she got it from a friend, but Almanzo was sure that a boy wouldn't offer a ring to a girl just because of friendship. It was probably an engagement ring, but he couldn't imagine that Laura was planning to get married. In his opinion she was too young. Way too young.

When Almanzo arrived at home, Eliza Jane was already waiting for him. Without a word he sat down in his chair. After a little while, he could hear his sister's voice.

"Are you alright, Mannie?"

"Sure," he answered silently.

"Really?" Eliza Jane looked puzzled at him. "Would you like to have a cup of tea?" Without waiting for an answer, she hurried into the kitchen and a minute later she was back with the tea. "Be careful, it is very hot," she warned him. As long as Almanzo could think, Eliza Jane had behaved more like a mother than a sister, and she still did.

"When will you see Sarah again?" she asked inquisitively while she was sitting back in her chair.

"Never," he answered. "She doesn't want to see me again."

"What on earth have you said to her that she doesn't want to see you again?" Eliza Jane asked concerned.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes, that's the problem," Almanzo said angrily. "I've said nothing to her the whole evening and now she is thinking that I'm not interested in her."

"I'm sorry," Eliza Jane looked pityingly at him. "I hope you're not too disappointed."

"No, I'm sure it's the best for both of us." Almanzo took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. He was still thinking about Laura, and he couldn't help it. He wanted to know who had offered her this ring. Maybe it was a boy at school and Eliza Jane knew about it. She was the teacher, and she knew a lot of things about the kids at school.

Almanzo cleared his throat. "Sis, can I ask you a question about your job?"

"Certainly," Eliza Jane answered and stopped reading her book.

"Are there pupils in your class that are in love with each other?" he started.

"What?" Eliza Jane chuckled. "Mannie, most of my pupils are just kids. Sometimes there are children that have a little crush on each other, but that's nothing serious, and they soon get over with."

" And what about your older pupils?" Almanzo tried to get more information.

"There aren't many older pupils at school. You know, most boys are working at their family's farms, when they're getting older and the older girls are not interested in the younger boys, but why do you want to know that?"

"There's no special reason. I was just wondering," Almanzo stared to the ceiling.

"Come on, Mannie. You have never been interested in my job or my pupils until today. What is it?" Eliza Jane seemed to be confused now.

"Well," Almanzo was fumbling with his fingers. "I met Laura Ingalls today, and she was wearing a chain with a ring. I'm just wondering who has offered it to her. Maybe a boy at school?"

"I don't know, but I can't imagine that it was a boy at school," Eliza Jane said and started reading her book again.

"Don't you think it's really strange?" Almanzo asked blankly. "I mean, she is awfully young. She can't get married at her young age. She is even too young to get engaged."

"She is going to be sixteen. Of course, it is young to get married at that age, but she isn't a little girl anymore. You better get used to it," Eliza Jane answered.

Almanzo hadn't expected an answer like that. He was sure his sister would be surprised and concerned, but it seemed that she wasn't. "Eliza, do you really think it is possible that Laura is engaged to someone?" he asked her.

"I don't know. Maybe she is," Eliza Jane answered irritated. "It always seems to me that you know her much better than I do. You two are chatting almost every day in town. Why don't you ask her?"

Almanzo didn't know what to say. He regretted that he had started a conversation like this. All he wanted now was being alone. So he tried to find an excuse. "I'm tired, Eliza. I go to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she replied. Eliza Jane was still puzzled.

Three hours later the clock in the parlor chimed twelve times. It was midnight and Almanzo was still awake. He couldn't stop thinking about Laura. His sister was right. He had talked so many times to Laura during the last month. He loved chatting with her. Every time he met her in town she brightened up his day, but today she acted strange. She was sad, and she got very angry when he mentioned that she was too young to get serious. Maybe he didn't know her as well as he had always thought, but he couldn't ask her about the ring again. Almanzo sighed. He needed another hour until he finally fell asleep.

Some days later Almanzo was working at the Feed & Seed. He had met Laura this morning, and he hadn't seen the ring anymore. She had been very happy, and they had talked for a little while like they always did when they met in town. Everything seemed to be alright again and Almanzo knew he should be happy, but deep inside him he wasn't. The thought Laura could be engaged to a boy had hurt him. He was scared by his own feelings. He didn't know what Laura meant to him and at the moment he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to find out...


End file.
